


Safer by Your Side

by eg0tist



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, One Shot, Panic Attacks, mafuyu is a good boyfriend, no beta we die like men, slighty ooc???, uenoyama is trying his best, uenoyama needed to break down at one point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:41:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25136344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eg0tist/pseuds/eg0tist
Summary: It comes without warning. The world falls apart without warning, but it helps if someone is there to pick up the pieces.This time it was Uenoyama who needed the pieces picked up.
Relationships: Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka
Comments: 4
Kudos: 177





	Safer by Your Side

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you know this is my first fic and was slightly inspired by my own experiences. I hope you enjoy reading!
> 
> (Also btw title was inspired by the song By Your Side by Flatsound, highly recommend it!!)

It had been happening for awhile.

This was the second night that Mafuyu had ever slept over at Uenoyama’s house. Tonight his sister was at Take-chan’s house and his parents were out of town like usual so he and Mafuyu were truly...Alone. 

Uenoyama laid down the futon for Mafuyu. “If you get uncomfortable again, you can just tell me okay.” Uenoyama commented, still adjusting the futon. Mafuyu looked at him. “Thank you, Uenoyama-kun.” 

Uenoyama's face burned, he still wasn’t any better at dealing with Mafuyu's soft voice. “Y-yeah, don’t mention it.” He sputtered out. 

He couldn’t ignore it anymore.

“I’m going to head to the bathroom real quick,” He looked at Mafuyu. “Be right back.” he slowly jogged from the room. 

The minute he closed the bathroom door, the world crashed. It had been happening all day long. A tightening in his chest. A flipping in his stomach. It wasn’t like the normal butterflies that fluttered in his stomach whenever he was with Mafuyu. These were moths, chewing away at his insides. 

He leaned on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. Get a hold of yourself. 

Maybe it was stress from the upcoming concert. Yeah that was probably it. He was probably just not eating enough, not drinking enough water, likely not getting enough sleep. But his chest still tightened and his hands felt uncharacteristically cold. He rubbed his eyes, trying to make sense of the gnawing at the back of his head. 

The more he stood and stared at himself, the deeper he spiraled. His eyes unfocused as he retreated into his mind. He tried to untangle the threads in his mind. He couldn’t make sense of it. His lips thinned and his hand moved to rub his forehead. A wave of irritation hit him and he gritted his teeth. What the fuck is happening. 

Uenoyama’s chest tightened more. He put his head in his hands as he fought a ripple of nausea. His heart was starting to beat faster, his body felt too heavy, his fingers started to tingle. “What the fuc-”

“Uenoyama-Kun?” 

Uenoyama jumped out of his skin. 

Mafuyu knocked on the bathroom door. “Uenoyama-kun, you okay in there? You've been in there awhile.” 

For a moment no words came to mind. “Y-yeah, I’ll be right out!” He managed. 

A few moments later he walked out, trying to slow his heart from the encounter. Usually it would’ve gone back to normal by now. Mafuyu was already back in the room. Uenoyama's chest hurt even more as he walked into his room. 

Mafuyu smiled when he entered. For a moment the tension in his body ceased, a fuzzy feeling taking over. But in a split second it was all crashing back down and Uenoyama had to blink hard to keep it in. 

As he walked towards his bed he stopped as Mafuyu spoke up. “Uenoyama-kun, do you have a blanket?” He nodded towards the empty futon. Uenoyama’s brain took a few seconds to catch up. “Uenoyama-kun?” 

“Huh?” He had to bite back an ugly retort. “Yeah I uhh, can get you a blanket sorry.” He frowned at himself as he walked out of the room to find a blanket. Jesus your such a dumbass. 

Mafuyu stared after him curiously.

A moment later he reappeared and handed the sitting Mafuyu the blanket, not saying a word. Mafuyu’s curiosity morphed into something new. Concern.

Uenoyama turned back and flipped off the lights. For some reason he shivered at the sudden darkness. He lazily walked over to his bed. “Goodnight.” He whispered, laying down.

After a few long moments. “Uenoyama-kun,” Mafuyu started.  
“Are you okay?” 

Simple question. 3 words, 10 letters. He was asked that everyday. But hearing Mafuyu’s kind, gentle, and warm voice whisper it to him in a dark room, it made it hard to answer. He was glad Mafuyu couldn’t see his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“I dunno. You seem out of it.”

Irritation bloomed in his stomach. “I’m not.”

Apparently the irritation could be heard because he heard Mafuyu sit up. “Uenoyama-kun…”

“What?” He said flatly.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine!” He spat, the threads in his brain tangling further. Both seemed surprised by his sudden outburst. “Sorry.” His chest suddenly tightened and he gripped the bed sheets beneath him. His throat dried up, and his mind was going blank. 

“We can talk about it if you want Uenoyama-kun.” 

The room was still for a moment. 

“No.”

“Ueno-”

“No, no, no no no!” 

He insisted as he sat up. His breathing was getting heavier. He felt sweat forming, the world blurred for a few moments. 

Mafuyu sat frozen in his spot, his face unreadable. “Uenoyama-kun, I’m sorry. I-”

He was cut off by the black haired boy standing up and marching out of the room. 

Something is happening. Something weird. Something bad. Uenoyama closed the door behind him, walking quickly to the bathroom, the world blurring more and more. He heard footsteps behind him. Were they his? His ears were ringing so loud he thought his head would explode. He felt something grab his sleeve. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. “Don’t touch me!” He pushed the thing away and fell backwards, slamming against the wall, all the remaining air in his lungs being forced out. He closed his eyes and put his hands up defensively. I’m dying, I'm gonna die. I’m gonna die.

Through the ringing in his ears he heard a familiar muffle, a familiar voice. But he didn’t care. Nothing mattered right now. He was gonna die. Nothing mattered. 

Uenoyama tried to back up, the walls were closing in, It was too hard to breathe in here. The air was stale, it tore through his lungs and his throat, making it impossible to swallow, impossible to breathe. Please help me! Oh god someone please help me. He felt cold, sticky tears run down his cheeks. He didn’t want to die.

“Uenoyama-kun!” A sound broke through the deafening ringing. “Uenoyama-kun,” There was the sound again. He kept struggling. 

He felt two hands close around his wrists, still held up defensively. “S-Stop.” He managed to breathe out. “Please stop.” It was more a pathetic whimper then a demand. The hands still held his wrists. He struggled against them, trying to pull away. He felt weak. His body wouldn't do what he wanted. 

He opened his eyes and gasped against the overwhelming brightness. He saw someone sitting in front of him. He wanted to kick and scream but something stopped him. I don’t want to hurt him. Who didn't he want to hurt? Who was in front of him? He bared his teeth and let out a cry through them. 

“Uenoyama-kun, it’s okay!” Uenoyama tried to stand up but his socks slipped and he slid back down. “Outside.” He needed to get outside, it was too hot in here, too small in here. Too cramped. The small balcony was only a room away he just needed to get there.

“Outside?” 

He responded to the strange voice. “Yes.” 

“Okay, okay we can get you outside.” The voice was so soft it was almost carried away by the ringing in his ears. He struggled to stand up again but this time there was someone there helping him up. 

He walked as fast as he could to the balcony, someone held one of his arms and had a hand on his back, trying to support him as best it could. 

The minute he felt the cold air hit his face, his chest loosened just slightly. He wasn't trapped out here. He practically collapsed into a sit, the someone beside him not letting him fall all the way. He greedily breathed in the night air, still hyperventilating. 

“We’re outside. You’re okay Uenoyama-kun.” 

Uenoyama looked to the person beside him, his eyes wide with panic. But nothing happened, the figure just sat there, calmingly, peacefully. Uenoyama grabbed the sleeve of the now familiar figure, he knew him. He was important. “Th…” He swallowed thickly. “Thank...you.” He put his forehead on the comforting shoulder of him. Him. 

He felt a hand grab the hand he had fastened to the boys sleeve. He flinched back for a moment but the hand was...It was warm, calloused, but so, so gentle, so kind. It squeezed his hand once, then again, in a sort of pattern. He squeezed the hand back, holding it for dear life. Then he felt something against the top of his head, his hair ruffling as the pink-haired boy layed light kisses on his head. 

Uenoyama inhaled the fuzzy scent around him, his chest loosening even more. His closed eyes watered more as he heard a gentle murmur. “It’s okay, you're safe with me.” 

His body shook with a sob. “Mafuyu…” His free arm wrapped around Mafuyu's neck. Mafuyu shifted and let go of the boy's other hand, allowing Uenoyama to use both arms to pull him close for a hug. “Mafuyu, Mafuyu, Mafuyu…” He whined pathetically, burying his face into the boy's neck. 

“I’m here.” Mafuyu buzzed gently, hugging Uenoyama back. He slowly started rocking the boy back and forth in his arms. Mafuyu's shirt bunched in Uenoyama’s fist.

Uenoyama’s breathing was mostly back to normal and his stomach no longer flipped. He thought that if he let go of Mafuyu he would fall off earth again so he held tighter, and Mafuyu reciprocated. He felt Mafuyu's hand rubbing circles on his back and he sobbed again. “Thank you, Mafuyu.” He spoke breathlessly. Mafuyu hummed a response. It was enough. 

Uenoyama no longer felt the cold air of the night, around him was a light and warm air, sweetened by the boy in his arms, the boy he loved so much he could die. The threads in his head untangled slightly. 

Mafuyu turned his head and snuggled his face into Uenoyama’s hair. Uenoyama thought he might explode. 

After a few minutes of silence, Mafuyu spoke up. “Are you okay now Uenoyama-kun?” The boy slowly nodded into Mafuyu's neck. 

“That’s good.” Mafuyu smiled peacefully. “Can we go back to your room?” He asked.

Uenoyama tensed. Mafuyu seemed to sense this. “Not yet?” Mafuyu stroked Uenoyama’s back again. “Whenever you're ready, Ritsuka.”

Uenoyama sniffed and snuggled deeper into Mafuyu’s grasp. His first name. His first name. The threads untangled slightly again. He smiled. “Mafuyu…” 

“Yes?” 

“You should do that more.”

“Call you Ritsuka?”

Uenoyama nodded. 

Mafuyu rocked them side to side. “Ritsuka, Ritsuka, Ritsuka.” Uenoyama’s face burned but he was too tired to do anything about it. 

“We can go back now.” Uenoyama said quietly. Mafuyu pulled away slightly, to look at Uenoyama. “You ready?” He tilted his head. Uenoyama looked at him with red puffy eyes and nodded. Mafuyu put his hand on Uenoyama’s cheek, whipping away a stray tear. He softened and laid an ever so gentle kiss on Uenoyama’s lips, careful not to linger in case he couldn’t breathe again. Another string untangled.

Uenoyama looked down, his face red. He reached for Mafuyu’s hand, shaking as he held it. Mafuyu smiled. “Let’s get up, okay?” 

Mafuyu stood up, not letting go of Uenoyama’s hand. Then he slowly pulled the other boy up with him. Uenoyama’s face was still red as he held Mafuyu’s hand, not daring to look at his face. Usually he was the taller one but right now he felt so much smaller. But, it was comfortable. 

Mafuyu led the boy off the balcony, Uenoyama turned to get a last look at the starry sky, he should appreciate it more, he thought. Mafuyu led him the rest of the way to his room. Uenoyama’s eyes were trained on their hands, holding each other.

“Here we are.” Mafuyu said as Uenoyama sat down on his bed, still holding hands. “...Hey uhh Mafuyu…” Uenoyama spoke uncertainty. Mafuyu tilted his head and closed the door. “Can we uhh…” Uenoyama looked away and swallowed. “Can you…” He rephrased it. Mafuyu stared patiently, he thinks he knows what he’s gonna say, but he doesn't want to steal the boy's moment away. 

“Can you lay with me…” Uenoyama’s voice was barely audible. His face flushed as he glanced at Mafuyu. After a moment Mafuyu squeezed Uenoyama’s hand. “Of course I can.” Another thread untied.

Uenoyama short circuited. “O-okay.” He let go of Mafuyu's hand reluctantly and moved back to let Mafuyu lay down. Which he did promptly, he propped his head up with his elbow. “You gonna lay down?” 

Uenoyama sat next to Mafuyu. “Y-yeah, just uhh give me a second.” He blinked rapidly. Mafuyu smiled. “You’re cute.” Uenoyama’s brain fuzzed out. “N-n-no I’m not.” His hands fidgeted. Mafuyu giggled and boy did that send Uenoyama to a different dimension. 

Mafuyu patted the bed space beside him and raised his eyebrows. “Yeah yeah.” Uenoyama pouted, pulling the covers over him and Mafuyu as he laid down. Being this close to Mafuyu sent him spirling, his thoughts got all jumbled and his heart ached. He wanted to hold him so bad, to touch him, to feel him, all day, all night. 

Mafuyu snuck his hand up to Uenoyama’s jaw, cupping it. Uenoyama layed shocked for a moment but slowly melted into it, placing his own hand over Mafuyu’s. They both smiled softly at each other. Uenoyama swallowed, “You’re so beautiful, Mafuyu.” 

Mafuyu’s eyes widened and Uenoyama saw his cheeks turn pink, not unlike his own. Uenoyama looked away, embarrassed, quickly glancing at the other boy. His angel, his beauty, his lover boy. How can you truly be mine? It was too good to be true. All he could think to say where those words he had been meaning to say for so long. 

“I...I love you so much.” His face burned but he turned his eyes fondly on the boy in front of him. Mafuyu's eyes widened more and for a moment he lay still. But quickly, he untensed and a delicate smile pulled at his lips. 

“I love you too, Ritsuka.” 

All the remaining threads tangled inside Uenoyama’s head fell apart, as did he.

Uenoyama inhaled as Mafuyu drew him in closer for a hug, their legs intertwined beneath the covers. Uenoyama had to bite his lip to keep from crying again. God he loved him so much. 

He could stay there forever, in the grasp of Mafuyu, the warmth, the tingling sensation would always be there. 

Uenoyama pulled away reluctantly and looked the love of his life in the eye. He placed his lingering kiss on Mafuyu’s soft lips. Mafuyu kissed back, sliding his hand into Uenoyama’s hair. They pulled away, then back in again, over and over, tiny little, gentle, lovely, kisses. 

They pulled away again. Uenoyama smiled against Mafuyu’s lips, they stared at each other. “You make me so happy.” Uenoyama didn’t know how else to put it. It was all he could think to say. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough

“You make me happier.”


End file.
